Welcome to Empower Graphics

What was the best thing before sliced bread?

One nice thing about egotists: they don't talk about other people.

Does the Little Mermaid wear an algebra?

Do infants enjoy infancy as much as adults enjoy adultery?

Does the name Pavlov ring a bell?

Condoms should be used on every conceivable occasion.

Going to church doesn't make you a Christian, any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.

Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity.

The best way to do housework is to sweep the room with a glance.

If you look like your passport picture, you probably need the trip.

Bills travel through the mail at twice the speed of checks.

The short fortune-teller who escaped from prison was a small medium at large.

Those who get too big for their britches will be exposed in the end.

Once you've seen one shopping center you've seen a mall.

Those who jump off a Paris bridge are in Seine.

When an actress saw her first strands of gray hair she thought she'd dye.

Bakers trade bread recipes on a knead to know basis.

Santa's helpers are subordinate clauses.

Acupuncture is a jab well done.

Marathon runners with bad footwear suffer the agony of defeat.

How is it possible to have a civil war?

If one synchronized swimmer drowns, do the rest drown, too?

Is a book on voyeurism a peeping tome?

Corduroy pillows are making headlines.

A hangover is the wrath of grapes.

If electricity comes from electrons - does that mean that morality comes from morons?

I used to work in a blanket factory, but it folded.

Shotgun wedding: A case of wife or death.

A Freudian slip is when you say one thing but mean your mother.

A pessimist's blood type is always b-negative.

Energizer Bunny arrested -- charged with battery.

If you ate pasta and antipasto, would you still be hungry?

If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done?

Whose cruel idea was it for the word "Lisp" to have a "S" in it?

Why are hemorrhoids called "hemorrhoids" instead of "assteroids"?

Why is it called tourist season if we can't shoot at them?

Why is the alphabet in that order? Is it because of that song?

A gossip is someone with a great sense of rumor.

Marriage is the mourning after the knot before.

The same mustard as before - Dijon vu.

When two egotists meet, it's an I for an I.

Without geometry, is there any point?

A man’s home is his castle, in a manor of speaking.

A man needs a mistress just to break the monogamy.

The poor guy fell into a glass grinding machine and made a spectacle of himself.

I saw a woman wearing a sweat shirt with "Guess" on it. So I said "Implants?" She hit me.

I live in my own little world. But it's OK. They know me here.

A good friend will come and bail you out of jail ... but, a true friend will be sitting next to you saying, "Damn..that was fun!"

Stress is when you wake up screaming and then you realize you haven't fallen asleep yet.

My wife said I never listen to her (at least I think that's what she said).

Just remember ... if the world didn't suck, we'd all fall off.

If raising children was going to be easy, it never would have started with something called LABOR!

To write with a broken pencil is pointless.

When fish are in school, do they take debate?

The thief who stole a calendar... got 12 months.

The thief who fell and broke his leg in wet cement is now a hardened criminal.

The thief who stole corn will be charged for stalking.

Virginity can be cured!

If you lie down with dogs, ... you will stink in the morning...

The pen is mightier than the... pen...

Where there's smoke, there's... pollution...

A penny saved is... not much...

Don't put off till tomorrow what... you can wear to bed...

There are none so blind as.... Stevie Wonder...

Laugh and the whole world laughs with you. Cry and... you have to blow your nose...

Better late than... pregnant...

Why do we press harder on a remote control when the batteries are dying?

Why do banks charge a fee for "insufficient funds" when they know there is not enough money?

Why do people believe you when you say there are 4 billion stars but check when you say the paint is wet?

Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard?

Why does Superman stop bullets with his chest, but ducks when you throw a gun at him?

Why do Kamakaze pilots wear helmets?

I used to eat a lot of natural foods until I learned that most people die of natural causes.

Gardening Rule: When weeding, the best way to make sure you are removing a weed and not a valuable plant is to pull it. If it comes out of the ground easily, it is a valuable plant.

The easiest way to find something lost around the house is to buy a replacement.

Never take life seriously. Nobody gets out alive anyway.

There are two kinds of pedestrians: the quick and the dead.

Life is sexually transmitted.

The only difference between a rut and a grave is the depth.

Have you noticed since everyone has a camcorder these days no one talks about seeing UFOs like they used to?

Whenever I feel blue, I start breathing again

All of us could take a lesson from the weather. It pays no attention to criticism.

In the 60s, people took acid to make the world weird. Now the world is weird, and people take Prozac to make it normal

How is it one careless match can start a forest fire, but it takes a whole box to start a campfire?

Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, "I think I'll squeeze these dangly things here, And drink whatever comes out?"

If you think nobody cares if you're alive, try missing a couple of payments.

Dolphins are so smart that within a few weeks of captivity, they can train people to stand on the very edge of the pool and throw them fish.

I thought I wanted a career; turns out I just wanted pay checks.

A bank is a place that will lend you money, if you can prove that you don't need it.

Corporate Graphics

Brochures, Advertisements, Flyer, Posters, Trade Show Graphics, and so much more!

Covering ALL your graphics needs!

Brochures, Advertisements, Flyer, Posters, Trade Show Graphics, and so much more!

“Highly Excessible”!

Always ready and available to go above and beyond!
NO - it's not a typo!! Learn more...

What they’re saying…

“To all the lucky souls and corporations that get the opportunity to work with Eric, at Empower Graphics, count your decision to work with him as the best business decision you can make regarding the image of your company!! After forty years in the professional beauty and music industries, and working with designers such as Calvin Klein, Sam Brocato, Graham Webb and Robert Taylor – industry icons – I must say Eric’s creativity, attention to detail, and his tell-it-like-it-is attitude and honest feedback is unique. His outstanding work is always on time and he goes the extra mile every time!! People like this don’t exist anymore in business!!! Eric has inspired me to create again… I would, with extreme confidence, recommend Eric to anyone who is searching for excellence in the graphic design field – excellence in design and image, and more important, an honest man!!” Gene Martignetti

Owner/Founder, MariaMaria Music/Beauty, SoBe Beauty Services

“We have been working with Eric Michalowsky and Empower Graphics since December of 2007. It was very important to my company that we find someone who was not only creative, brand aware and in tune with our corporate goals but also someone we could count on to produce our creative on time and to strict budget constraints. After battling with a “big firm” who seemed to drop the ball and not give us the attention we deserved, Eric was like a breath of fresh air. Suddenly work was being completed far ahead of schedule and to our specifications. Eric has partnered with us to create everything necessary for not only 2 retail location openings but also all the marketing materials and collateral we have needed for the franchise division of our company. His knowledge of, and adherence to, appropriate branding guidelines and procedures has ensured our brand remains strong and as originally intended. I would highly recommend Eric and Empower Graphics.” Steven Heller

President, The Brand Liaison

“Arixa Capital Advisors is an investment management firm and my role is investor relations and marketing. I have worked with Eric on several graphic design projects, creating marketing collateral to appeal to high net worth individuals as well as institutional investors. Eric’s work is superb with respect to design and attention to detail. It has been difficult finding people who have standards high enough to work with us. If you are a company with high standards like ours, you will find it a pleasure working with Eric. Additionally, he is very attentive to our needs even though we are on the west coast and he is on the east coast. If I send Eric a project in the evening it is often in my inbox waiting for me the next morning.

We have tried other designers on a couple of occasions to disastrous effect. We turned back to Eric to salvage both of these projects, which he did with alacrity and professionalism. I will continue to use Eric for my graphic design needs due to his superb work product, responsiveness and professionalism. Good people are hard to find and Eric is good people.” Kevin Zvargulis

Vice President, Arixa Capital Advisors

“Eric opened my eyes a few years ago to the benefits of freelance graphic design. I was trying to hire a new designer after my staff designer resigned, and Eric gave me pause when he said he could help, but only as a freelancer.

His response time, design quality, and attention to detail forced me to abandon my search for a permanent designer.

I was anxious that the 3-hour time difference would be problematic, but that has not been the case. In fact, more often than not, I’m able to wake up in California to new design changes waiting for me in my inbox.” Greyson Prinzing

General Manager, Riot Creative Imaging/ARC Document Services

Logos, Logos, Logos!

Let us create a personality for your business, and the perfect symbol for it!