If a man is standing in the middle of the forest speaking and there is no woman around to hear him...is he still wrong?
If someone with multiple personalities threatens to kill himself, is it considered a hostage situation?
Is there another word for synonym?
Isn't it a bit unnerving that doctors call what they do "practice"?
Where do forest rangers go to "get away from it all?"
What do you do when you see an endangered animal eating an endangered plant?
If a parsley farmer is sued, do they garnish his wages?
Would a fly without wings be called a walk?
Why do they lock gas station bathrooms?? Are they afraid someone will clean them?
If a turtle doesn't have a shell, is he homeless or naked?
Why don't sheep shrink when it rains?
Can vegetarians eat animal crackers?
If the police arrest a mime, do they tell him he has the right to remain silent?
Why do they put Braille on the drive-through bank machines?
How do they get the deer to cross at that yellow road sign?
Is it true that cannibals don't eat clowns because they taste funny.
What was the best thing before sliced bread?
One nice thing about egotists: they don't talk about other people.
Does the Little Mermaid wear an algebra?
Do infants enjoy infancy as much as adults enjoy adultery?
Why does mineral water that 'has trickled through mountains for centuries' have a 'use by' date?
Is French kissing in France just called kissing?
What do people in China call their good plates?
Can you sentence a homeless man to house arrest?
Sign In Chinese Pet Store: "Buy one dog, get one flea..."
I got a sweater for Christmas...I wanted a screamer or a moaner.
I am a nobody, and nobody is perfect; therefore I am perfect.
I married my wife for her looks...but not the ones she's been giving me lately!
Everyday I beat my own previous record for number of consecutive days I've stayed alive.
Two peanuts walked into a bar. One was a salted.
If carrots are so good for the eyes, how come I see so many dead rabbits on the highway?
Why does "fat chance" and "slim chance" mean the same thing?
Why do "tug" boats push their barges?
Why do we sing "Take me out to the ball game" when we are already there?
Why are they called "stands" when they are made for sitting?
Why is it called "after dark" when it really is "after light"?
Doesn't "expecting the unexpected" make the unexpected expected?
Why are a "wise man" and a "wise guy" opposites?
Why do "overlook" and "oversee" mean opposite things?
Why is "phonics" not spelled the way it sounds?
If you are cross-eyed and have dyslexia, can you read all right?
If all the world is a stage, where is the audience sitting?
Why is bra singular and panties plural?
Why do you press harder on the buttons of a remote control when you know the batteries are dead?
Why do we put suits in garment bags and garments in a suitcase?
Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle?
Why do they call it a TV set when you only have one?
Christmas is weird. What other time of the year do you sit in front of a dead tree and eat candy out of your socks?
Why do we park on driveways and drive on parkways?
How do angels get their gowns on over those wings?
If nothing sticks to teflon, how does it stick to the pan
Support bacteria - they're the only culture some people have.
Everyone has a photographic memory. Some have just run out of film.
Laughing stock: cattle with a sense of humor.
Wear Short Sleeves: Support your right to bare arms...
For Sale: Parachute. Only used once, never opened, small stain.
Shin: a device for finding furniture in the dark.
Sign on an Electrician's truck: "Let us remove your shorts."
Sign in a Nonsmoking Area: "If we see smoke, we will assume you are on fire and take appropriate action."
Sign on a Maternity Room door: "Push. Push. Push."
Sign at an Optometrist's Office: "If you don't see what you're looking for, you've come to the right place."
Sign in a Podiatrist's office: "Time wounds all heels."
Sign on a Fence: "Salesmen welcome! Dog food is expensive."
Sign in a Veterinarian's waiting room: "Be back in 5 minutes. Sit! Stay!"
Sign at the Electric Company: "We would be delighted if you send in your payment. However, if you don't, you will be."
Sign in a Restaurant window: "Don't stand there and be hungry, Come on in and get fed up."
Sign in the front yard of a Funeral Home: "Drive carefully. We'll wait."
Sign at a Propane Filling Station: "Tank heaven for little grills."
I wondered why the baseball kept getting bigger. Then it hit me.
A sign on the lawn at a drug rehab center: 'Keep off the Grass.'
The soldier who survived mustard gas and pepper spray is now a seasoned veteran.
When cannibals ate a missionary, they got a taste of religion.
An oral agreement is not worth the paper it's written on!
A small boy swallowed some coins and was taken to a hospital. When his grandmother telephoned to ask how he was, a nurse said, 'No change yet.'
Don't join dangerous cults: Practice safe sects.
The butcher backed into the meat grinder and got a little behind in his work.
Anything that is unrelated to elephants is irrelephant.
You do not need a parachute to skydive. You only need a parachute to skydive twice.
Hospitality: making your guests feel like they're at home, even if you wish they were.
Money can't buy happiness, but it sure makes misery easier to live with.
I discovered I scream the same way whether I'm about to be devoured by a great white shark or if a piece of seaweed touches my foot.
Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.
Avoid alliteration. Always.
Venison for dinner again? Oh deer!
A cartoonist was found dead in his home. Details are sketchy.
A conscience is what hurts when all your other parts feel so good.
All those who believe in psychokinesis, raise my hand.
Show me a piano falling down a mine shaft and I'll show you A-flat minor.
When a clock is hungry, it goes back four seconds.
Brochures, Advertisements, Flyer, Posters, Trade Show Graphics, and so much more!
Covering ALL your graphics needs!Brochures, Advertisements, Flyer, Posters, Trade Show Graphics, and so much more!
What they’re saying…
We have tried other designers on a couple of occasions to disastrous effect. We turned back to Eric to salvage both of these projects, which he did with alacrity and professionalism. I will continue to use Eric for my graphic design needs due to his superb work product, responsiveness and professionalism. Good people are hard to find and Eric is good people.” Kevin Zvargulis
His response time, design quality, and attention to detail forced me to abandon my search for a permanent designer.
I was anxious that the 3-hour time difference would be problematic, but that has not been the case. In fact, more often than not, I’m able to wake up in California to new design changes waiting for me in my inbox.” Greyson Prinzing