Hospitality: making your guests feel like they're at home, even if you wish they were.
Money can't buy happiness, but it sure makes misery easier to live with.
I discovered I scream the same way whether I'm about to be devoured by a great white shark or if a piece of seaweed touches my foot.
You can't teach an old dog new... math...
Age is a very high price to pay for maturity.
Going to church doesn't make you a Christian, any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.
Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity.
Local Area Network in Australia: the LAN down under.
He often broke into song because he couldn't find the key.
Every calendar's days are numbered.
A boiled egg in the morning is hard to beat.
He had a photographic memory that was never developed.
A plateau is a high form of flattery.
If you lie down with dogs, ... you will stink in the morning...
The pen is mightier than the... pen...
The short fortune-teller who escaped from prison was a small medium at large.
Those who get too big for their britches will be exposed in the end.
Once you've seen one shopping center you've seen a mall.
Those who jump off a Paris bridge are in Seine.
When an actress saw her first strands of gray hair she thought she'd dye.
Bakers trade bread recipes on a knead to know basis.
Santa's helpers are subordinate clauses.
Acupuncture is a jab well done.
Marathon runners with bad footwear suffer the agony of defeat.
Don't sweat the petty things and don't pet the sweaty things.
One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor.
Atheism is a non-prophet organization.
If man evolved from monkeys and apes, why do we still have monkeys and apes?
The poor guy fell into a glass grinding machine and made a spectacle of himself.
I saw a woman wearing a sweat shirt with "Guess" on it. So I said "Implants?" She hit me.
I live in my own little world. But it's OK. They know me here.
A good friend will come and bail you out of jail ... but, a true friend will be sitting next to you saying, "Damn..that was fun!"
Stress is when you wake up screaming and then you realize you haven't fallen asleep yet.
My wife said I never listen to her (at least I think that's what she said).
Just remember ... if the world didn't suck, we'd all fall off.
If raising children was going to be easy, it never would have started with something called LABOR!
Brain cells come and brain cells go, but FAT cells live forever.
Do you get holy water by boiling the hell out of it?
Are what Eskimos get from sitting on ice called Polaroids?
Is a boomerang that doesn't work called... a stick?
Cheese that is not yours - Nacho Cheese!
What you get from a pampered cow - Spoiled Cheese!
What you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire - Frostbite!
What sits at the bottom of the ocean and shivers - A Nervous Wreck!
Where you find a dog with no legs - Right where you left him!
The call is PMS because Mad Cow Disease was already taken.
He who dies with the most toys,... is nonetheless dead.
A picture is worth a thousand words... but it uses up three thousand times the memory.
Ham and Eggs - a day's work for a chicken, a lifetime commitment for the pig.
The original point and click interface was a Smith and Wesson.
If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried.
The severity of the itch is directly proportional to the inability to reach it.
How do you get off a non-stop flight?
If space is a vacuum, who changes the bags?
The sooner you fall behind, the more time you'll have to catch up.
A fool and his money are soon partying.
Drugs may lead to nowhere but at least it's the scenic route.
It is said that if you lined up all the cars in the world, end to end, someone will be stupid enough to try and pass them.
If peanut butter cookies are made from peanut butter, what are girl scout cookies made of?
It was recently discovered that research causes cancer in rats.
Experience is something you don't get until after you need it.
For every action, there is an equal and opposite criticism.
No one is listening until you make a mistake.
If you jog backwards, do you gain weight?
If you take a Chinese man and spin him around and around, does he get disoriented?
Why do the signs that say "Slow Children" have a picture of a running child?
Why do they call it chili if it is hot?
Have you ever seen a toad sitting on a toadstool?
Monday is an awful way to spend 1/7 of your life.
Support bacteria - they are the only culture some people have.
Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.
How do you write zero in Roman numerals?
How many weeks are there in a light year?
If a jogger runs at the speed of sound, can he still hear his walkman?
If athletes get athletes foot, do astronauts get mistletoe?
If blind people wear dark glasses, why don't deaf people wear earmuffs?
Skinheads have more hair than brains.
Vampires are a pain in the neck.
Nutrition makes me sick.
Nuclear waste fades your genes.
If you nose runs and your feet smell, you must be upside-down.
Early birds get worms.
Nothing succeeds like a parrot.
Where there's smoke, there's... pollution...
A penny saved is... not much...
Don't put off till tomorrow what... you can wear to bed...
There are none so blind as.... Stevie Wonder...
Laugh and the whole world laughs with you. Cry and... you have to blow your nose...
Better late than... pregnant...
Brochures, Advertisements, Flyer, Posters, Trade Show Graphics, and so much more!
Covering ALL your graphics needs!
Brochures, Advertisements, Flyer, Posters, Trade Show Graphics, and so much more!
What they’re saying…
“To all the lucky souls and corporations that get the opportunity to work with Eric, at Empower Graphics, count your decision to work with him as the best business decision you can make regarding the image of your company!! After forty years in the professional beauty and music industries, and working with designers such as Calvin Klein, Sam Brocato, Graham Webb and Robert Taylor – industry icons – I must say Eric’s creativity, attention to detail, and his tell-it-like-it-is attitude and honest feedback is unique. His outstanding work is always on time and he goes the extra mile every time!! People like this don’t exist anymore in business!!! Eric has inspired me to create again… I would, with extreme confidence, recommend Eric to anyone who is searching for excellence in the graphic design field – excellence in design and image, and more important, an honest man!!”Gene Martignetti
“We have been working with Eric Michalowsky and Empower Graphics since December of 2007. It was very important to my company that we find someone who was not only creative, brand aware and in tune with our corporate goals but also someone we could count on to produce our creative on time and to strict budget constraints. After battling with a “big firm” who seemed to drop the ball and not give us the attention we deserved, Eric was like a breath of fresh air. Suddenly work was being completed far ahead of schedule and to our specifications. Eric has partnered with us to create everything necessary for not only 2 retail location openings but also all the marketing materials and collateral we have needed for the franchise division of our company. His knowledge of, and adherence to, appropriate branding guidelines and procedures has ensured our brand remains strong and as originally intended. I would highly recommend Eric and Empower Graphics.”Steven Heller
“Arixa Capital Advisors is an investment management firm and my role is investor relations and marketing. I have worked with Eric on several graphic design projects, creating marketing collateral to appeal to high net worth individuals as well as institutional investors. Eric’s work is superb with respect to design and attention to detail. It has been difficult finding people who have standards high enough to work with us. If you are a company with high standards like ours, you will find it a pleasure working with Eric. Additionally, he is very attentive to our needs even though we are on the west coast and he is on the east coast. If I send Eric a project in the evening it is often in my inbox waiting for me the next morning.
We have tried other designers on a couple of occasions to disastrous effect. We turned back to Eric to salvage both of these projects, which he did with alacrity and professionalism. I will continue to use Eric for my graphic design needs due to his superb work product, responsiveness and professionalism. Good people are hard to find and Eric is good people.”Kevin Zvargulis
“Eric opened my eyes a few years ago to the benefits of freelance graphic design. I was trying to hire a new designer after my staff designer resigned, and Eric gave me pause when he said he could help, but only as a freelancer.
His response time, design quality, and attention to detail forced me to abandon my search for a permanent designer.
I was anxious that the 3-hour time difference would be problematic, but that has not been the case. In fact, more often than not, I’m able to wake up in California to new design changes waiting for me in my inbox.”Greyson Prinzing
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