Welcome to Empower Graphics

An oral agreement is not worth the paper it's written on!

Employ the vernacular.

Eschew ampersands & abbreviations, etc.

One should never generalize.

Borrow money from pessimists - they don't expect it back.

I intend to live forever - so far, so good.

If you're too open-minded; your brains will fall out.

Age is a very high price to pay for maturity.

Going to church doesn't make you a Christian, any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.

Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity.

The best way to do housework is to sweep the room with a glance.

If you look like your passport picture, you probably need the trip.

Bills travel through the mail at twice the speed of checks.

Every calendar's days are numbered.

A boiled egg in the morning is hard to beat.

He had a photographic memory that was never developed.

A plateau is a high form of flattery.

The short fortune-teller who escaped from prison was a small medium at large.

Those who get too big for their britches will be exposed in the end.

Once you've seen one shopping center you've seen a mall.

Those who jump off a Paris bridge are in Seine.

When an actress saw her first strands of gray hair she thought she'd dye.

Bakers trade bread recipes on a knead to know basis.

Santa's helpers are subordinate clauses.

Acupuncture is a jab well done.

Marathon runners with bad footwear suffer the agony of defeat.

If a parsley farmer is sued, do they garnish his wages?

Would a fly without wings be called a walk?

Why do they lock gas station bathrooms?? Are they afraid someone will clean them?

If a turtle doesn't have a shell, is he homeless or naked?

Why don't sheep shrink when it rains?

Can vegetarians eat animal crackers?

If the police arrest a mime, do they tell him he has the right to remain silent?

Whenever I feel blue, I start breathing again.

How is it one careless match can start a forest fire, but it takes a whole box to start a barbecue?

Show me a man with both feet firmly on the ground, and I'll show you a man who cannot get his pants off.

Is it me or do buffalo wings taste like chicken?

I always wanted to be a procrastinator but never got around to it.

She has kleptomania. When it gets bad, she takes something for it.

Did you hear about the big fight that Madonna, Cher, Jewel and Fabio had? They are no longer on a first name basis.

How can a cemetery raise its burial charges and blame it on the cost of living?

Why are there interstate highways in Hawaii?

What's brown and sits on stool? Beethoven's last movement.

My family is so stupid - during the Civil War, my great uncle fought for the west.

To me, boxing is like ballet, except there's no music, no choreography and the dancers hit each other.

It is better to have loved a short man that never to have loved a tall.

When a cow laughs, does milk come up its nose?

After eating, do amphibians have to wait an hour before getting out of the water.

Marriage: the only sport in which the trapped animal has to buy the license.

People who discriminate based upon race are racists. People who discriminate based upon sex are sexists. Are people who discriminate against other who speak a foreign language called linguists?

If the afternoon dies, do we spend the rest of the day in mourning?

We'll never run out of math teachers as they always multiply.

When the smog lifts in L.A., UCLA.

The math professor went crazy with the blackboard. He did a number on it.

The professor discovered that her theory on earthquakes was on shaky ground.

The dead batteries were given out free of charge.

If you take a laptop computer for a run, could you jog its memory?

The dentist and manicurist fought tooth and nail.

A lot of money is tainted. 'Taint your and 'taint mine.

Is making a smoking section in a restaurant like making a peeing section in a pool?

if 4 out of 5 people suffer from diarrhea, does one enjoy it?

Do infants enjoy infancy as much as adults enjoy adultery?

Stupidity is not a handicap. Park elsewhere.

The call is PMS because Mad Cow Disease was already taken.

He who dies with the most toys,... is nonetheless dead.

A picture is worth a thousand words... but it uses up three thousand times the memory.

Ham and Eggs - a day's work for a chicken, a lifetime commitment for the pig.

The original point and click interface was a Smith and Wesson.

If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried.

The severity of the itch is directly proportional to the inability to reach it.

How do you get off a non-stop flight?

If space is a vacuum, who changes the bags?

The sooner you fall behind, the more time you'll have to catch up.

A fool and his money are soon partying.

Drugs may lead to nowhere but at least it's the scenic route.

The pen is mightier than the... pen...

Where there's smoke, there's... pollution...

A penny saved is... not much...

Don't put off till tomorrow what... you can wear to bed...

There are none so blind as.... Stevie Wonder...

Laugh and the whole world laughs with you. Cry and... you have to blow your nose...

Better late than... pregnant...

Why do we press harder on a remote control when the batteries are dying?

Why do banks charge a fee for "insufficient funds" when they know there is not enough money?

Why do people believe you when you say there are 4 billion stars but check when you say the paint is wet?

Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard?

Why does Superman stop bullets with his chest, but ducks when you throw a gun at him?

Why do Kamakaze pilots wear helmets?

I used to eat a lot of natural foods until I learned that most people die of natural causes.

Corporate Graphics

Brochures, Advertisements, Flyer, Posters, Trade Show Graphics, and so much more!

Covering ALL your graphics needs!

Brochures, Advertisements, Flyer, Posters, Trade Show Graphics, and so much more!

“Highly Excessible”!

Always ready and available to go above and beyond!
NO - it's not a typo!! Learn more...

What they’re saying…

“To all the lucky souls and corporations that get the opportunity to work with Eric, at Empower Graphics, count your decision to work with him as the best business decision you can make regarding the image of your company!! After forty years in the professional beauty and music industries, and working with designers such as Calvin Klein, Sam Brocato, Graham Webb and Robert Taylor – industry icons – I must say Eric’s creativity, attention to detail, and his tell-it-like-it-is attitude and honest feedback is unique. His outstanding work is always on time and he goes the extra mile every time!! People like this don’t exist anymore in business!!! Eric has inspired me to create again… I would, with extreme confidence, recommend Eric to anyone who is searching for excellence in the graphic design field – excellence in design and image, and more important, an honest man!!” Gene Martignetti

Owner/Founder, MariaMaria Music/Beauty, SoBe Beauty Services

“We have been working with Eric Michalowsky and Empower Graphics since December of 2007. It was very important to my company that we find someone who was not only creative, brand aware and in tune with our corporate goals but also someone we could count on to produce our creative on time and to strict budget constraints. After battling with a “big firm” who seemed to drop the ball and not give us the attention we deserved, Eric was like a breath of fresh air. Suddenly work was being completed far ahead of schedule and to our specifications. Eric has partnered with us to create everything necessary for not only 2 retail location openings but also all the marketing materials and collateral we have needed for the franchise division of our company. His knowledge of, and adherence to, appropriate branding guidelines and procedures has ensured our brand remains strong and as originally intended. I would highly recommend Eric and Empower Graphics.” Steven Heller

President, The Brand Liaison

“Arixa Capital Advisors is an investment management firm and my role is investor relations and marketing. I have worked with Eric on several graphic design projects, creating marketing collateral to appeal to high net worth individuals as well as institutional investors. Eric’s work is superb with respect to design and attention to detail. It has been difficult finding people who have standards high enough to work with us. If you are a company with high standards like ours, you will find it a pleasure working with Eric. Additionally, he is very attentive to our needs even though we are on the west coast and he is on the east coast. If I send Eric a project in the evening it is often in my inbox waiting for me the next morning.

We have tried other designers on a couple of occasions to disastrous effect. We turned back to Eric to salvage both of these projects, which he did with alacrity and professionalism. I will continue to use Eric for my graphic design needs due to his superb work product, responsiveness and professionalism. Good people are hard to find and Eric is good people.” Kevin Zvargulis

Vice President, Arixa Capital Advisors

“Eric opened my eyes a few years ago to the benefits of freelance graphic design. I was trying to hire a new designer after my staff designer resigned, and Eric gave me pause when he said he could help, but only as a freelancer.

His response time, design quality, and attention to detail forced me to abandon my search for a permanent designer.

I was anxious that the 3-hour time difference would be problematic, but that has not been the case. In fact, more often than not, I’m able to wake up in California to new design changes waiting for me in my inbox.” Greyson Prinzing

General Manager, Riot Creative Imaging/ARC Document Services

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